Career Opportunities at Fermented Freight Solutions

See the Colonies while getting PAID!

Today I’m sharing a piece that was shortlisted for Uncharted Magazine’s 2024 Flash Fiction Prize.

Career Opportunities at Fermented Freight Solutions

Photo by Daniel on Unsplash

Are you an experienced space freight specialist and/or food service worker? Would you like to see the Colonies while getting PAID? Apply today for the exciting opportunity of TRANSPORTATION SAFETY TECHNICIAN, KIMCHI at Fermented Freight Solutions. Space travel doesn’t have to belong only to the rich or the unlucky—get paid to escort luxury goods to the solar system’s most famous tourist resorts and/or open-air prisons!

We are the leading freight line for speciality and luxury products that require extra care during transit between Earth and the Colonies. We provide hardworking Colonists with all the comforts of home, including:

• radiation-resistant kimchi 

• gochujang

• salted squid

For five of the last ten years, our cargo’s critical failure and crew mortality rates have been almost 20% lower than our competitors’! We take pride in quality control and shielding to avoid inconvenient pressure-induced hull breaches. Your job, as TRANSPORTATION SAFETY TECHNICIAN, KIMCHI, will be to monitor the cargo hold during a daily 12-hour shift and defuse any explosive onggi while maintaining environmental controls to reduce rot. 

Deployments are 6-18 months, depending on positioning of the planets at time of departure. Each deployment includes a guaranteed two-week shore leave, with room and board at a clean and comfortable terraforming labor camp 100% paid by Fermented Freight Solutions!

You may be wondering how the recent escalation of tensions following the Colonist Uprisings may affect the operations of Fermented Freight Solutions. Our parent company, Red Plan-It!, Inc. has negotiated independent terms of neutrality to ensure the uninterrupted flow of goods and services to the Colonists and surviving tourists. Red Plan-It! cannot be held liable for injury or death any FFS employee sustains while on shore leave. 

Skills and qualifications:

• High school diploma or equivalent required. B.A./B.S. or higher in food sciences, biochemistry, relativity, or aerospace engineering preferred.

• Ability to perform repetitive and tedious tasks for hours without breaks.

• Ability to lift up to 50kg under normal Earth gravity.

• Conversational or business Korean preferred.

• Must be proficient in hand-to-hand combat. 

• Some hostage negotiation training preferred.

Benefits:

• Competitive salary.

• Free medical services by RP-I! in-house doctors. (No Vision or Dental)

• 50% off continuing education courses and certificates offered by RP-I! Universities.

• Inclusive, family-like workplace.

If this sounds like you, apply to be our next TRANSPORTATION SAFETY TECHNICIAN, KIMCHI and join the FFS family today! Women of child-bearing age discouraged from applying.

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